Astonishing Splashes of Colour by Clare Morrall

Author:Clare Morrall [Morrall, Clare]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0-06-203517-2
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2004-08-16T04:00:00+00:00

I ring James’s doorbell. I have a key, but I want him to know I’m coming.

He opens the door as if he’s been expecting me. “We can’t see Jake and Suzy any more,” I say. “I’ve only got two brothers left.” I burst into tears. He leads me in and takes me to the bedroom. I lie down fully clothed. He takes off my shoes and puts the quilt over me, then he holds me for a long time. He doesn’t ask. He never asks. He just holds me. He’s a good man. If it wasn’t for me, he would be a wonderful husband.

Nobody rings for the next two days. I stay in James’s bed and cry and cry for the baby that never had a chance. The baby that I could have had if they didn’t want it. It’s not fair, I keep thinking. It’s not fair. Sometimes James comes and sleeps with me. Sometimes he doesn’t. He occasionally brings me warm drinks and I swallow them eagerly, trying to get some of the warmth inside me. But it’s only temporary. I eat some of the food he brings me and leave the rest.

“You must have the flu,” he says. “Should we go to the doctor’s?”

“No. It’ll go on its own.”

“OK,” he says. “But if it goes on longer than a week, you have to see a doctor.”

“Yes,” I say.

Suzy doesn’t phone and Jake doesn’t phone to tell me off for upsetting her. So she hasn’t told him. Or she has told him and he too has a guilty conscience. Either way, I know I’m right.

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